Clay Bodies

Tell me that's not beautiful.

2010-10-21T13:34:00.000-07:00

There was a storm. The sky would flash silver every now and then and my heart would leap.

The sky subsequent to a storm is when it is truely at it's most beautiful. The sky glows an odd colour and the moon is enveloped in amber-tinted hues. It's when the realisation hits you, that we are so small, so insignificant. That the world and the atmosphere is so vast. It's almost as though you can see beyond the sky, past the washed-out clouds and the stars scattered like glitter on velvet. Venus is closer than we think.

Bones, sinking like stones.

2010-05-02T17:07:00.000-07:00

I'm surprised I haven't cried yet. It's nothing like me. Normally, by this point I'm a mess all over. Swollen face and dewy lashes. I'm a mess inside because nothing fits together.
And there was me, thinking everything was lovely, and how everytime I think of your kisses I sparkle. Maybe it's because this time it was different.
My heart sinks when I think.
I need to stop thinking, but it takes a lot to not do that.

Because honestly, you are perfect.
And now you are gone.

"Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about."

2010-04-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

You're on my mind. Every day.

Ghosts.

2010-03-21T13:08:00.000-07:00

I promise there are ghosts clinging to my ankles, they refuse to let go.

Numb

2010-03-06T15:35:00.001-08:00

I want to be awoken by the sun streaming through my window. I want to run around bare foot without being followed by muddy footprints and I want to thread delicate daisy chains around my wrist. I've had this recurring vision of myself alone on a dimly lit beach with the sound of the waves lapping and a distant lighthouse faded against the horizon. It's not necessarily a beautiful day outside, but the gentle breeze that tangles my hair is very comforting.

I'm faltering.

2010-02-12T09:24:00.000-08:00

Nostalgia is pulling me to pieces, and so are you.

Like old wise eyes.

2010-01-28T11:25:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I haven't written for so long, I'm having trouble working with words. January is nearly over, snow no longer disguises, it's crisp whiteness has been replaced with colour once more. I have been dreaming of shy, red-haired boys, with rosy cheeks and grazed knees, white socks and boat shoes. Strumming my guitar, but ever so gently, weaving words and music. I now have a luck fairy, she stands proudly on my shelf, with spiralling wings and a four-leafed clover grasped between her pale fingers.

The Night Sky.

2010-01-06T03:29:00.000-08:00

I looked up at the sky. It was painted black, but with too much water on the brush. Washed out and vunerable. The stars were scattered in untidy clusters across the watercolour night, like fistfuls of glitter sprinkled on a page.

The whole scene was homemade, and a sense of uneasiness washed over me. The sky was usually a haven in which I could feel a little less lonely, a little more sure of myself. It usually calmed me.

For that was when the night hung thick like a velvet blanket over the city, and when I felt safe enough to climb a ladder to the moon, and lie comfortabley in the contour of it's silvery crescent. The stars would rain down on me, enveloping my body with their irredescent light.

And as the sun would slowly rise, I would slowly set. The glow around my bones would peel away, and I would shed my starkissed skin.

Ps. Don't forget to ask me a question. (www.formspring.me/lovelybones)
I love to answer them.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T11:24:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas, lovelies.

White teardrops, falling from the sky.

2009-12-20T04:42:00.000-08:00

It's been snowing here. I've never been too keen on the snow, especially when it's being thrown at you. However, looking out at the clean, white snow-caped world from my bedroom window, as I'm tucked up with my warm blanket, drinking cups of hot chocolate and drawing, drawing, drawing, I suppose it is quite lovely.

I stole the carousel from the Christmas Tree, I think it's going to become a permanent feature in my bedroom. Isn't it magical?

Ps. I made a formspring http://www.formspring.me/lovelybones

At my most beautiful.

2009-12-16T08:54:00.000-08:00

Dear F.

Remember when you told me about the stars? When you held my hand, and stroked my icy fingers, and when I could feel your warmth against me.

With you, my half moon of a heart phases into full, and when you're gone, an eclipse.

You will be you, and I will be I.

2009-12-09T11:18:00.000-08:00

I want to go somewhere quiet. I'll take my bicycle. A place with grey-blue skies and sun that shines dimly through the off-white clouds. Somewhere with tall, tall trees and a stream. I will make paper boats and race them down the water.

I will fly my kite in the gentle breeze, and I will sit in the long swaying grass, picking flowers and threading daisy chains. As the sun begins to set, I'll lie there alone, just watching the world around me.

Slowly, I will disappear.

2009-11-23T08:31:00.000-08:00

I curled the half-smoked cigarette from between my fingers into my fist. I could feel it’s warmth against the palm of my hand. Luca walked past me, as if I were invisible, as if he did not see my presence sat alone on the cold, park bench. It was then, that a little bit of my heart crumbled into dust. I stood up, and threw the glowing cigarette to the ground.

“Luca!” I called after him, my voice quivering.
He did not stop. He continued to walk away from me, kicking the rust-coloured leaves from under his feet. The autumn wind scattered them across the ground and up into the air. By the time they had settled once again on the pathway, decorating its plain grey surface with burnt oranges and carnelian reds, he was nothing more than a distant silhouette, too far away to see the tears that pricked my eyes.

German Market.

2009-11-20T15:00:00.000-08:00

I went to the German Christmas Market this evening. I can now say I am truely in the Christmas spirit. I saw pretty lights and carousels and smelt roast chesnuts and ate chocolate coated strawberries. I found Alice in the charity shop today, for only fifty pence. I also bought my friend a book. It made me feel good.

Disillusioned faces upon friends we've seldom met.

2009-11-19T00:03:00.000-08:00

She'd been away. Not completely in tune with the world. Everywhere she would turn, a cold sense of nostalgia washed over her. The life from her eyes had faded, the life that once glowed from her eyes, her hair and her now cold, white skin. Her eyes that once glimmered like the reflection of moonlight on the crest of a wave, had slowly become meaningless. And her heart. Her heart did no longer beat the way it did before. As she was nothing. She was hollow.

Sometimes your heart looks so pretty, I just want to live there.

2009-11-07T14:54:00.000-08:00

Oh I am so excited! And so starstruck! I've just got home from seeing the lovely Lisa Mitchell and she was brilliant! She is so cute the way she dances around the stage!

And best of all, I spoke to her afterwards! I was so nervous, I didn't know what to say! She said it was 'lovely to meet me' and my friend. I had my photograph taken with her too and she get jumping up and down, being silly :) Ahh, I love Lisa Mitchell, she is wonderful. Proper posts are coming soon my lovelies. x

Do you think I'm, sort of, alive?

2009-10-27T14:12:00.000-07:00

Winter is creeping upon us. The autumn leaves are falling from the trees, crisp piles of russet and burnt orange. The sky fades to a soft, dreamy pink as the sun sets behind the fleecey grey clouds, to then turn a deep blue. Loneliness envelopes me, as I curl up amongst my bed covers and dream of days and nights and pasts and presents. And when I wake, the sky is still dark, but the stars have disappeared. It's times like this, I wish you were mine.

The colours of their eyes were fading.

2009-10-09T11:52:00.001-07:00

My throat has been sore and my head has been hurting. I've spent two lovely days alone. The quiet is perfect. Yesterday I made faery cakes with pink buttercream icing, and I sewed myself a little coin purse. Today I painted and I watched The Virgin Suicides. Such a melancholy story, yet so lovely. Kirsten Dunst is perfect.

(credit where necessary)

"In the end we had the pieces of the puzzle, but no matter how we put them together, gaps remained, oddly shaped emptinesses mapped by what surrounded them, like countries we couldn't name." - Jeffrey Eugenides (The Virgin Suicides)

To run, or to hide.

2009-09-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

My names not Alice,

but I know how she felt

When her world starting turning,

into something else.

- Lisa Mitchell.

I am quite utterly in love with Lisa Mitchell, she is so wonderful. Her voice is perfect, and I've become a little absorbed within her videos.

I've been dreaming of faeries, drifting around my bedroom, leaving sparkly faery dust to flutter down upon my eyelashes. I've painted my nails with pure glitter, and how magical they make me feel when my fingers dance on piano keys. I've been buying lots of pretty things for my room, a lovely gold frame, I don't know what to put inside. I've been wearing a new teeshirt with Mr White Rabbit on it, and tucking white flowers behind my ear. I'll be making myself a wish jar too, I have lots of wishes, and now at least the faeries will know where to collect them and make them come true!

I don't know exactly why, but I've been in my own little world lately, and I've come to realise, that's the best way to be.
My friends have been asking, "Bethany, whats wrong with you lately?"

I answer, "I'm just tired, that's all."

Little do they know...

Faeries.

2009-08-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl I used to collect faeries. I had at least thirty and they each sat on my windowsill. I bet they used to have secret faery parties when I was sleeping, returning to their normal place and position the second my eyes opened and I was declared awake.

I also used to draw faeries in my big old sketchbook. I'd create different ones for different occasions, seasons, holidays. There were all sorts. Summer faeries, winter faeries, Christmas faeries, midnight faeries, sparkle faeries. Some with hair long and flowing, others short and pixie-like. Some wore floaty white dresses whilst others wore short green ones with gold rope tied around their tiny waists.

The last few days, I have felt strange. A mixture of happy and sad. Light to heavy hearted. Odd how sudden a feeling can change, from one extreme to another.

In my wonderland

2009-08-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

"Explain yourself!"

"I ca'n't explain myself, I'm afraid sir," said Alice, "Because I'm not myself, you see." Lewis Carroll

I wish I had my own wonderland. Wouldn't it be lovely? A place where you could creep barefoot through flowerbeds and tiptoe along pathways into enchanted forests where faeries flit around like golden sparks. I would make friends with my own white rabbit, and we would go back to his quaint little cottage, and drink tea from lovely china tea cups (when he has time on his hands, of course!) I imagine the white rabbit to have a very fine taste in tea.

I've been reading too much Alice again.

Bonjour

2009-08-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Lovely Bones. (I was previously Loveisnoise.)

Change is good.

Ps. I went to see Harry Potter, I enjoyed it a lot!